I have a lot of praying to do.

Like, A LOT.

I got 99 problems and summer madness 2012 is over.

I won't lie, I went to this festival with more of a closed mind than last year, or the year before (I don't count the first year I went - as a self proclaimed atheist at the wise old age of 15 I wasn't exactly there to hear the speakers). I sat there on Friday night at the big top, head in my hands, fed up already. I was in pain and had just come to terms with the fact that the next 5 days were being spent using portaloos. Saturday, Sunday and Monday did get progressively more bearable though, I actually started to enjoy it. Summer Madness was something I hadn't been looking forward to at all, last year was VERY different and it lay ahead of a summer that changed  a lot of my outlooks forever.

Having said that, the speakers this year were the best I've ever heard, the worship was some of the best there's ever been and the craic was second to none at camp. I met new people, I heard new things and more importantly I found myself wanting to get back on track as far as bible reading and prayer goes more than I have in a long time. That's to be expected after summer madness though, I don't know how long it'll be before the backslider in me surfaces again and I slip back into the same old routine. I do my best, it's all I can try.

I'm not saying that things didn't happen that annoyed me, every day things happened that made me actually quite sad. Between being last on the list of people to talk to for someone that's top of mine, and hearing things that quite frankly freaked me out on the last night. I got thinking about relationships a lot, not out of choice, but out of bombardment by one of my best friends. To be told in more words than this, that you're probably one of the worst "other halves" or that you're in one of the worst looking relationships about wasn't something I appreciated. In fact, far from it. What people need to realise is that there are different kinds of people in the world, not everyone conforms to the mushy, PDA stereotype of a boyfriend and girlfriend, and most of the time I'm ok with that.

I'll finish this brief of posts by saying summer madness 2012 had a mix of ups and downs, more downs than I'd hoped for, and more ups than I'd expected. Shane Claiborne made my weekend, and so did a chat I had walking through the forest on the second day.

Your love never fails,
Never gives up,
Never runs out on me.

thanks for new things to think about Glenarm.

400 views....well that's kinda weird!

It's 2:44am, there is absolutely no sign of me sleeping. I lay in bed, in the dark for 2 hours trying to sleep there before I turned this piece of scrap metal on out of boredom. I even put Einaudi on to try and lul myself off, even heartbeats - my trouble with sleeping is so bad that even Jose Gonzalez, who sings like he isn't even fully conscious, couldn't send me off.

Suppose it's around this hour and the couple either side of it that my head gets in the mood for thinking, which I won't lie, is not at all appreciated. I'm taking a trip to boots tomorrow to see if they can give me some tablets, also need to ask why every time I eat the smallest amount I feel really ill. Summer madness is on Friday - if I struggle sleeping in my incredibly comfy (and huge) bed with the greatest duvet of all time how am I EVER going to cope lying on a carry mat.....may as well apologise in advance to everyone as I morph into a member of the cast of The Walking Dead......and not one of the living characters.

I'm not looking forward to Summer Madness in the slightest. I wish I was. The thought of camping in the rain turns me. I try my best not to be sceptical (and sceptical is the closest word to what I mean, I don't actually mean sceptical, more cynical maybe? I don't know) or cynical or whatever about the whole thing, but the crux of it is a lot of the festival last year made me feel quite uncomfortable. For me, a relationship with God is extremely personal, in particular I find prayer to be very personal. Worship, still personal, but less so. Summer madness often (for me, probably no one else) turns prayer and worship into a show for me, a show that I'm watching but I'm not actually part of. Lyrics like "Dance, dance, everybody dance" don't really make sense to me, but that's one of very few songs that I find to be, well, unbearable. I don't like praying in front of people. I don't like people hearing me sing. It's only recently that I've started to become comfortable with belting worship out because honestly, for me it isn't worship if I'm stood there worrying about what the person next to me is having to listen to. 

This kind of bumpily brings me onto my point about the whole atmosphere of mainstage. Feeling God's presence, lifting your arms up in worship. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing I love seeing more than people stretching their arms out when worshipping, something about it gives me goosebumps, but I've never done it. The reason is because I've never felt moved to do so. Doing it because all of your friends are isn't the point. Doing it because of excellent stage lighting and a good performance of that song that says everything (it gets me every time, CHRIST IN ME, CHRIST IN ME, CHRIST IN ME, THE HOPE OF GLORRYYY etc) is also not the point. I find it really difficult at such a huge venue, with so much incredible staging to differentiate between when I'm feeling truly moved by the holy spirit, or when I'm just getting caught up in all the lights, camera, action of it all. The same goes for prayer, when a few thousand people are praying and all the mumbles merge into this eerie sound, or when you're in a fairy lit prayer room, it's hard to know if it's just the set up making you feel particularly spiritual. Most of my praying is done when I'm on my own. Or when everyone else is standing up. Although I've said I struggle praying out loud in front of people, praying with one person is truly one of the most moving things I've ever experienced. There are people (and there's one in particular) that I've  never prayed one on one with. I pray for them every night but I've never actually asked them if they want me to pray about anything, or want me to pray with them. I guess the second is mostly because although I could pray about them for half an hour before I go to sleep, I literally forget how to speak English when it comes to saying it all in front of them.

When I pray in groups it becomes less about talking to God and more about praying TO the people around me. That's not what it should be. In the same way that listening to one person pray at the front as we all bow our heads doesn't mean we're praying that prayer. For me I'm just listening to someone pray, which may be of benefit, but nowhere near the benefit of praying yourself.

Hmmmmmmmmm, thoughtful.

A thoughtful afternoon.

This (worryingly) had been the first afternoon in a long time that I sat down with a diary in one hand and the intention of praying it out until I felt like I'd done enough. Honestly, you can never do enough, but since I got home I've sat and prayed the bit out. 

Over exams I completely let it all slip, I prayed when I went to bed, mostly about exams, and didn't open my bible once for about 4 weeks. There's no excuse, but for someone who barely had time to eat, the bible wasn't high on my to do list.....I know it should have been. I have this little red book (if you know me well you might realise I have a lot of books such as the blue book of apologetics, the black moleskine sketchbook of boredom and the tiny red book of doodles) and in it a while back I started writing down prayers. My goal for the summer is to start, every night, writing down my prayers in it. It helps me focus, it makes prayer a bit more active for me, I find it really hard to sit and pray because I always forget stuff, at least with this I feel like I'm actively really thinking about what I'm saying. Although God knows what I'm trying to say anyway, and words are not my strong suit remotely, it'll help to look back and see how they've been answered. No one will probably ever see this book, unless they specifically ask. Even at that there are very, very few people I'd be willing to show it to. In the same way there are very few people that I'm ok with reading this blog. The goal is to use this summer like a springboard, so that in September it becomes habit to jot down prayers in it.

Let's see how this goes!

Exams are over.

FINALLY a bit of thinking space. I'm not thinking about how they went until August. People (church people) keep saying "It's all in his hands now" but that makes me feel no better I'll be honest. If anything that makes me feel like an even worse Christian than I already feel I am. "Oh but there are no bad Christians" Yeah yeah, I don't say anything right do I?

I'm kind of bored, I said I'd never complain about being bored but I've been left hanging tonight....I haven't been out either of the 2 nights I've been off now which sucks.....I've been getting a lot of jokes made at me recently about going out on the lash and being the one that'll go ape when I go to uni/leave home/whatever happens. Ok, I'm not as rigid as a lot of Christian's are, not that being rigid is bad, but I'm not "Bad". I dunno, it's totally not a big deal I know but it does kind of bother me that people think I'm the person most likely to get wrecked and turn up to Church the next morning.

Have a little faith?

I seriously need to work on that, on leaving things up to God. I'm melting my own brains revising to the point where words don't make sense any more and although there's important information on the page I'm looking at, zero of it goes into my memory. I was really worried about God having a plan, I still am, but baring in mind the verses I read last night - he's got my back. Not that I ever thought he didn't, but to feel like God had a different direction to the only one I want to go in scared me. He knows what's best, and with persistence and a lot of belief, I'll be set in September. No doubt tomorrow I'll have a different mindset, but I'm doing my best to be calm for longer than a few hours (minutes).

4 down, 2 to go. There's so much in my prayers the last few nights it seems trivial even mentioning exams but if there's one thing I've learned over the last year it's this - no matter what the issue or who it involves, like if it's about someone who's ill or a tiny test in school, pray about it. You can't go wrong praying about stuff.



"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
- Philippians 4 v 6

Today's revision break, is this post.

Half way to the end, 3 exams to go, summer is on the horizon. Yesterday I got so excited about the prospect of being off school, the thought of going on holiday in 50 odd days as I'm being constantly reminded, the North Coast crowd and chilling the flip out. Today though I just wish I had a few more weeks. It all boils down to how well I've done between Monday past and next Friday and I don't think things are going to plan. Well, my plan, but I'll get back to that in a few sentences. Last year I almost cried after pretty much all of my exams, I thought I'd done pretty terribly in all of them - I was wrong, I managed to pull off AAAB, which was ridiculous. Nobody expected me to get that, well, apart from me (before I started the exams, after, not so much). All I can say is that I hope with all my heart that I'm wrong about how well these are going. Today I had physics, not going to lie, it was a beaut paper, one I could've been in the 90s in, but I didn't have time - as a result I screwed up about half the questions, intending to go back to them, and didn't have time to. It's the most frustrating thing, knowing that given another stab at each question I know I could've arrived at the right answer.

The thought of not getting into Glasgow makes me feel sick to my stomach. I didn't take a rejection from Edinburgh all that well, so goodness knows what not getting into my firm choice would feel like. I've never wanted anything more in my life than to get to uni, do the best I can and then have the knowledge in place to make a difference to people. If I get the grades, I'm told it'll be the best 4 years of my life. Having the thought of my best 4 years still being ahead of me is a pretty sweet one. Well, it was, until I got this terrible feeling that things aren't about to go the way I hope they do. This is the first time Jeremiah 29v11 has scared me. More than scared me, I'm absolutely terrified of life not being my own plan. For 16 years as far as I  needed to be concerned, life would go the way I made it. There was no "destiny" (don't like that word) in place, no plan made for me, things would just pan out as I went. I distinctly remember every day feeling a lot less complicated, or at least, the future feeling like it would be a lot less complicated. But, now it's not in my hands. To be fair it never was in my hands, but now I'm very, very aware it's not. The terrifying thing is, if Glasgow isn't in God's plan for me, it's not where I'll be going. This is a terrible way to feel, but there's no denying that the thought of my plan not matching up with God's makes me want to cry. From past experience though, particularly the end of last year and the start of this one, things I think are absolutely terrible lead onto some of the best experiences and more specifically, people that change your life for the better. The wick time that was September to November lead me into a situation that I wouldn't change for the world. I need to keep remembering that. Even though it kills me that the disaster of disasters could happen come August where I check my UCAS track and have a rejection because I haven't made the cut.

I'm saying this as if I know what's going to happen, obviously I don't. The best I can do for now, is work as hard as I can and pray as hard as I can. With any luck God has some pretty class stuff in store for me in Glasgow. I think I'm most excited about the people I could potentially come into contact with. People God will make me ready for, because being an example is surely the best and most obviously display the love of God. Try and fire the bible at someone who isn't interested and it won't work, but when you act differently to how the world expects you to? That's when people notice. That was when I noticed that there's something very interesting going on in the hearts of Christians. Good luck making sense of all of that!

See how long that post was? Only on study leave are my posts this long! Back to work :)

Today didn't go so well.....

I couldn't have revised more, I prayed about it and did my best - and it still went terribly. I just freaked out after because it matters so much....it got to the point half way through the exam I couldn't even see the clock because my vision went walkabout.

I freaked out at a girl in my year after too, I get along with pretty much everyone in my year except one person.  ....and I pray about them when I can, because that's all I can think to do!

I hear a dog won Britain's got talent...

well done to the dog I guess? I haven't been watching it....or the voice.....or the x factor. Is the x factor even on?

I really don't watch a lot of tv, at all. I only ever watch it if:
a) I'm Bored out of my head
b) Bear Grylls is on
c) Brian Cox is on
d) Film 4 frightfest is on.
e) or New Girl is on.

At the minute none of these things are gracing my screen, so the tv remains off - and that ladies and gents is the story of my tv watching. Cool story, should tell it again sometime!
Aaaaaanyways - what's new? Not a wild pile to be honest, exams are taking over, in the same fashion they do year in, year out. No one shuts up about them, including me. It's grim, no matter what I do I feel like I should be revising, yet here I am, blogging.....

Not going to lie I pretty much have zero to say that's of interest. Not that I usually say anything of interest....shut up! Unless you find the acid catalysed hydrolysis of nitriles to form carboxylic acids remotely interesting, which no matter who you are, you do not. I've reached the point where I'm pretending to revise. Completely pretending. Weh weh weh.

I have it all planned out, I've been doing a lot of questioning with regards to faith etc, I haven't had time to spend long thinking on my own without distractions. I know it's wrong to put God aside, and honestly that's not what I'm doing, but the next 2 weeks present enough distractions to drive me up the left. God factors heavily in all of this, something would be badly wrong if he didn't. But I can't put my head completely into working things out when the dark cloud of revision hangs over EVERYTHING. SO, the plan is, on the 25th of May I get stuck into finding myself some answers. I've said before that I wanted to hang back from Church, but baring in mind now that I'm finished school and have 6 other days in the week to get my head showered, I might not need to do that. I'm aware I'm making it sound like Church is something I need a break from, but it's not exactly like that. I just need less opinions, and to get stuck into things that are more relevant (not that church is irrelevant, but it doesn't always present things at the right time). I also realise that every time I say something I tend to go and contradict myself....shhhh, this helps me....

I have a blue book that's about to contain the many, many, many thoughts that spill out of my head in regard to everything. It's really difficult to word things, in fact I find it impossible to word anything meaningful. In respect to anything....probably why I blog, typing's easier and I can go back and change things so that they're actually what I'm trying to say! ANYWAY, said book will become my ambush of quesions, and the answers to go with them. I had a really cheesy sounding line there that I just took out and replaced, see what I mean, writing is brilliant :P

You can also do this :P as if anyone sticks their tongue out mid conversation in real life?! :P:P:P

Goodbye :)

http://www.anthonynolan.org/What-you-can-do/save-a-life/Online-application.aspx?gclid=CIPS_dCV7q8CFWwntAodcg3D0Q

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-382109/Why-reluctant-donate-bone-marrow.html

Usually I try to drag a few friends along with me when I go to give blood, I have no problem with trying to guilt trip people into coming with me. The same with organ donation. (well, not really, I don’t take people to donate organs because obviously I haven’t done so and when I do, won’t be in any position to badger anyone into doing the same, because I will be dead.) Signing the donor register is a bit more personal than giving blood, but I still try to get my friends to sign on - I can understand, vaguely when it freaks people out about donating eyes especially, but really, you won’t be needing them…..

MOVING ON. I signed the bone marrow donation register with the Andrew Nolan trust yesterday, it took a bit more thought. Bone marrow donation is more similar to organ donation than I thought. You have to be a tissue match (Human Leukocyte antigen match) to donate bone marrow, so effectively matching someone with a bone marrow donor is as difficult as finding an organ.

So that in mind, I thought I’d sign up - they give you the low down on what happens if you’re drafted in and it was far more than I thought it would be. If I’m found to be a match, I have to go on a course of drugs before I donate to stimulate my body’s bone marrow production and then spend 2-3 days in hospital. You then have to take 5 days of rest because while your bone marrow cells regrow you get mega tired. I watched a video on youtube of bone marrow extraction and it doesn’t look fun at all. Having said that, though, that’s hardly a big deal considering that you might be able to help someone that has leukaemia, aplastic anaemia or sickle cell……I won’t be facebooking a link to sign up, because I know a lot of people who would sign up not actually thinking about what it involves. But if you’re reading this, click on that link and have a look. Fair enough if you think it’s not for you, it’s a pretty big deal like, but I think it’s pretty class.


It's really annoying me that the background on this post is white, looks horrible. Oh wait maybe I've fixed it!

A little bit of trouble...

Not trouble as in a faith struggle or anything. Pretty much the opposite. I know exactly what I believe (which is good, granted) and I know exactly what my views are (which is the issue I'm having). I'm taking a couple of weeks to step back from church and suss out where I stand with a few things. Sometimes I feel pigeon-holed into thinking things, into having opinions that aren't my own but are a collective world-view that I, as a Christian, should have. I can see where it comes from that getting drunk is wrong, amongst a heap of things that I'm not going into because I'm immature and don't want to get into them.
I can do my best to bite my tongue and have pretend views on these things, simply because I know it's what I'm "called" to believe or whatever. But that's all they are, pretend views. Deep down I don't have a problem with people being gay, especially people that are Christians being gay. If I said that in front of most of the people I know from Church I'd be shot down in a matter of minutes. I cannot make myself have false opinions. Fire as much biblical text as you want at me, flip God could talk to me right now about it and I honestly don't think my mind would change.


Maybe it's because I'm stubborn like that, or don't like being told what to do or what to think. Or maybe it's because I'm not about to start covering up my views with fake ones. It's a dilemma that I need to work out for myself, for the first time I don't think turning to the bible is going to help, but I do think taking a step back from Church will. We'll see!

Blessing in disguise.

A very, VERY good disguise. I can hands down say I have never in my life been this gutted....being rejected from Edinburgh is a huge knockback at this moment in time, and as much as I'm quite frankly devestated, for the next few lines I'm ignoring all of those feelings and focusing on a very much needed chat I just had with someone very close to me.

I'm a Christian, so this shouldn't be new to me. Except it is. God has a plan. He has a huge plan and today was obviously the evidence that Edinburgh is most definitely not in that plan. No matter how much I wish it was, Edinburgh wasn't "Meant to be" as it's been put by several people. Life isn't about me. It shouldn't even REALLY be about me and God. For any Christian's reading this, which no doubt isn't a great number, being a Christian is about more than reading your bible and praying here and there. It's actually about even more than trying to be a good person and not getting wrecked or not having sex before marriage etc etc etc. I'd look up to someone more for sharing what they believe in than to someone who kept the odd commandment and preached at someone like me, who doesn't actually need to hear the gospel. Christianity is about God and THEM (in the wise words of Fanta). The people school or in your house or at your uni or your work, that haven't heard or haven't heard enough about God. For a long time I've called myself a Christian and barely practised what I'm saying. The point of me saying all of this is that I'm tired of seeing people around me who give off stacks if I say the odd swear word, when in actual fact they have no contempt for people and separate themselves from everyone who isn't a bible basher.

God's plan for me is about more than what course I end up doing. It's about the people I'll come in contact with over the next 3 or 4 years. It's about the person I share a flat with that I drag to CU, even though they aren't a christian. It's about the person I meet when I'm doing my laundry that I can start a conversation with and slip in something about God that makes them think (Ok I know that is aiming a bit wide, but I'd make friends with them before I did anything like that). It's that when someone asks me why I'm not drinking, it's not because I'm driving or I have training, it's because I'm a Christian and getting drunk isn't something that I do. And it's when that someone takes any kind of interest and asks another question or when that person thinks I'm a complete twat and slags me off to someone else, that people know what I stand for and by some miracle SOMEONE might by some stretch of my imagination want to know more about why I'm so weird and don't act like everyone else.

The crux of this is, that it's not about Edinburgh and it's not about me. What defines me isn't that on this occasion I wasn't good enough, it's that on this occasion God stepped in and made that decision for me (well, the admissions office at Edinburgh technically did), because he has a direction for me to go in.

The reason more people don't become Christians is because of Christians. Christians like me, who for the last 2 years haven't stepped up to the mark.

"Hola." she said to the crowd of 17 year old french boys

Really it was probably a good thing that I responded to their efforts of friendly greeting with a hello in neither of our native languages. Still, it was interesting enough being asked my age and having the kid before me become confused by the number 18 - he responded with "Me too!" and proceeded to draw the number 16 in the air. Afraid not compadre, you are not a composed and mature adult such as myself.

Edinburgh was great craic it has to be said, I got to sing in 2 of the most beautiful cathedral/churches I've ever seen. The crowd I went with were cool and really to be doing anything at all in Edinburgh is going to be great. That city is very dear to me, and it's one I'll be back in soon I hope! Scottish people are so social, you get talking to complete randomers on buses....that would never happen at home. If you looked at someone in a conversational manor (which I'm not sure is even possible) then you probably run a risk of getting your bake kicked in. Well, not really, but being from Belfast I like to think that's the risk we take on public transport.

Also I bought 3 bottles of whiskey, by bottles I mean they are smaller than the size of your pinky, souvenir bottles. virtually 2mls in each. I GOT ID'd. COME ON!!!!

Anyways, twas nice to see Greyfriar's Bobby once more before darting into the Edinburgh Science museum.

So. Cool.

Glasgow.

For the first time in months I feel like I know where I want to be in September. The word relief doesn't quite cover it...

TRANSFORMERS?

When the teacher says "Transformers" in physics I can't help but respond with "ROBOTS. IN. DISGUISE."

Not TO her, obviously. She already thinks I'm an idiot. It's in my head. Or to whoever's sitting beside me.....

RICE AND BEANS UPDATE - Going strong, just about. All I want is a biscuit or a raisin or SOMETHING. Having said that, at least 3 people have mentioned in school that it's got them thinking seeing me not eating my usual lunchbox filled with fruit and noodles (not together, don't be disgusting.). 2 days left, at midnight on Friday I shall be eating everything I see. Stay well clear. Shan't be able to move afterwards.

In other news this whole Kony thing has gone mental today, if i was on facebook or twitter I'd probably not have seen the end of it. All I've had to deal with are a few instagram posts and a tumblr link or so. It's amazing, I don't know the full ins and outs of it, something I'll fix in the next few days. The video I saw on youtube by invisiblechildren.com was outstanding, the idea behind the whole thing is fantastic. At a basic level I'm sure 10 million people know about a man that they otherwise wouldn't have. To what degree the money used to buy the merchandise and posters etc actually goes to helping the cause I have no idea. I read that it wasn't a lot, and that the whole campaign has put a lot of kids in even more danger. Still, awareness is key, it's what the propaganda (by definition) is there for and it's doing the job. I can see it working.

I've also never seen such downright stupid people posting about it. I reblogged a post by a guy who was giving off along the lines of "I don't get why everyone is jumping on the Kony bandwagon. I hate that people are comparing him to Hitler. Hitler was far worse."

This person is ridiculous, making stupid and pointless comments. There is NO relevance whatsoever in saying that, who gives a dickins that he's (and to be fair, he hasn't killed millions of Jews. But he has abducted 30,000 children to become brainwashed mutilating soldiers) not worse than Hitler. I honestly can't comprehend the point of even blogging that. You sound actually offended, stop trying to be controversial for the sake of it. Hitler, for goodness sake. Think of a better reason to be cynical. 

Hebrews is outstanding.

Can I just say...

Rice and beans suck, it's day one and I'm about to consume my own face.

Must. Not. Eat. More.

http://www.tearfund.org/en/resources/for_churches/pack_library/one_voice_2012_prayer_week/rice_and_beans/?d=1

Guidance.

Pray for guidance and when you get it, pray for more guidance.

For someone whose head is all over the shop most of the time, praying often doesn't factor in as the first port of call when I start worrying about things. By things I mean all scales of things, from fairly serious things to "oh my dickins what ways can I possibly make rice and beans bearable". Praying is something I only recently found my own way of doing. I've never been comfortable praying in groups, in fact it's in close proximity to spiders and dying with 17 cats on my list of things to be scared of. Be it a group of 4 or amongst a Cssm team of 30, I can't pray the words I mean out loud. The only time I have meaningful time of prayer is when I'm entirely alone. Very few times have I been able to pray something meaningful with people around me.

Praying one to one with someone can be amazing. It's the most profound demonstration of Christian fellowship that I can think of. Amongst the crowd of church people I hang about with its something I think we need to do more, everyone has things to pray for.
Huge respect to the guys that without fail have prayer cell. Absolutely huge.

Instead of worrying about what the rest of the year has in store I need to pray.

Philippians 4:6

Villa Italia made a lasagne that was impressive.

Whatever you do. Don't. Cry.

2 things, firstly, I haven't cried in front of anyone in about 3 years. Secondly, on the biannual occasion that tears come out of my face, something is badly wrong. Except today, nothing new actually is wrong.

Life is great, I have the best friends I could wish for, a lad I've been spending a heap of time with that's nothing short of a legend and school's going ok. I have the uni offers I need to get somewhere in life. So why every time I think of September, in fact even August, do my eyes get damp and I want to crawl into my bed for a few hours?

I'm blaming the 8 hours of sleep to 4 hours of training ratio of this weekend. That sounds just about right....

Time to pray.

I still haven't got the hang of this and thus am still blogging to no one!

It's cheeky Tuesday and here's my thought for the day:

Why do boys have such tiny wallets? I don't mean in a metaphorical sense, I mean in a literal "that thing is the size of my bus pass" kind of way. My purse is fairly big due to the masses of change in it. I don't know how boys store their various coins and cards in what can only be described as a leather flap. (I realise that sounds gross.)

In the meantime I'm off to bed, where I'll no doubt have several dreams involving zombies and those metal things you poke fires wirh that make nil sense. More on those next time.

A post from the Queen.......sized ikea bed

YAWN. My exams finished yesterday (until next Thursday) so I'm having a lie in, which so far hasn't gone that well. I'm hungry enough that I'm going to go, get up and warm myself some maple and raisin pancakes. They're the greatest breakfast food of all time. Then I'll do some physics, then go for a run! I need to rethink the order possibly - seeing as I may end up crippled along the gutter if I eat before I go...

Also I have a pint less blood! Gave some to BTSNI. They rang me, low on my type ;) saught after stuff! Not. But in all seriousness they're desperately low and the only thing I did was tweet about it. Next time I'm actually going to get people to come down. The blood goes to up to 4 different people, platelets to cancer patients and that sort of thing. I'm going to read up on it because I'm fascinated by that stuff. Weird.

Really there aren't a lot of ways you can help people in that kind of physical way. As of yet there's nothing I can do to help people directly that have cancer or haemophilia. I guess it was one tiny gesture that helps a little bit. All I want is at some stage to be able to help people out, whether I end up on a ward or in a lab....Giving blood is a pretty nice thing to do, so is signing the organ donor register, which I've been praying about for a while. Signing OFF it will help a lot more people than signing ONTO it. There needs to be more awareness. Personally i don't understand why you wouldn't sign up, you won't need your organs when you're dead. But It's free choice, but it would also be a tragic situation to be in if someone ended up dying on a waiting list because someone who was already dead didn't sign on the dotted line.

For now, I have 2 kidneys, and one day someone might get use of these bad boys. Unless we've worked out how to grow them, and I don't reckon that's a long way off...

****post edit***** see how I mentioned a few months ago about the register, and guess what I saw on the news. One step closer to changing how it works. yeahboy!

Aloha señor distraction (a post I forgot to publish, from January)

Only the person in the world with the shortest attention span, teamed with an astounding ability to become distracted by chewing a pen would decide to blog the day before 2 mock exams.
(I'm not blogging about mocks by the way, you could go onto Facebook if you wished to read about that.)
Aside from the fact I have nil followers, if followers is how this thing works, I feel at ease pawing at my phone to craft a mundane post about my day. A day which has thus far been uneventful, unless you're a borrower in which case you'll find the small hollister clad gentleman I just crafted out of blu tack of use as a potential partner, because you're a borrower, and with such a small brain probably can't tell the difference between a blu tack Munter and a tiny sentient person.

I'm going crazy. I've also realised my sentences are too long and I have a comma addiction.
Back to 2,4-denitrophemylhydrazine.